What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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