I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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