I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
