he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
