no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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