Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
