So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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