if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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