I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
