How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
