i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize