Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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