At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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