i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
