he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Found your dick twin last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize