planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
