Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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