Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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