i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
