it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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