One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
