he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
