Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize