If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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