birth control should be required to get into college
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
