in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I believe in your delicious
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
