What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Pooping to opera.
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