i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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