Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
