She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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