The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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