In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
