Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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