I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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