I wish I could teleport
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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