I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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