Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
