The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
