Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
