Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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