i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize