Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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