They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
