i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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