is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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