remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
