In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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