my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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