you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
