Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
