Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
