We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize