Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
