Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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