you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
