I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
