fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
