Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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